1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
