I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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