glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
