I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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