Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
