FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I AM VODKA MAN
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
