i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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