MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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