hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
