Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
