her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do vagina's smell?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
