it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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