drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
