I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
