Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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