Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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