I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
