The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
