My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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