I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
