every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize