One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
