why didn't you poke me back
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
