I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
