what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize