That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
