Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
