I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize