Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
