wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
