I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
