How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
