I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
