I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
