So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
