You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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