I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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