If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
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