Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
