obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
