just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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