you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Define "chronic" masturbator.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
