What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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