I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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