If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
