Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
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I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
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I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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