If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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