SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize