I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
