What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
