Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
