I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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