my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
