So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
