Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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