Don't you send me to vm
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize