and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
