So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
