My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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