Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Couch. On fire.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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