Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
